I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
