I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
areolas are like halos for boobs.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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