you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
