I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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