dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
