Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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