there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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