We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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