Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
