Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
