the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
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