A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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