Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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