So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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