I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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