her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
