return my video game
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
