who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
