But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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