ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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