Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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