I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
