Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
My life is pants optional.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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