don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
