I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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