Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
