Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
