so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
