And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
