Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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