Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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