And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
