I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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