my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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