Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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