I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
