Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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