my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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