Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
