Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
