Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
