..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
