birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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