I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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