You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
