It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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