I think I died a long time ago.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
