Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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