There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
