Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
