just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
