i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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