he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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